“What’s your dream?” I asked my client.
He felt stuck. Like he was walking in circles, waiting for some big revelation to hit him. He told me:
People keep saying, “Follow your dream,” but what if I don’t even know what my dream is? And even if I did, what if I’m not the kind of person who can actually make it happen?
That’s the headspace he’d been in for a while. Tired of it, he reached out after reading one of my posts about clarity on LinkedIn.
Turns out, he’s been buying into a lot of myths that are keeping people trapped. If you’re feeling lost like he was, let’s break this down together.
How Do You Find Your Dream?
Maybe you think that your dream has to be this giant, crystal-clear vision. Like, “I want to be an astronaut” or “I want to open a Michelin-star restaurant in Paris.” But what if you started with something much simpler:
What excites you?
To figure that out, you have to ask yourself three key questions:
- What do you love – and what do you hate? If you start paying attention to the things that make you feel alive and the things that drain you, you’ll soon realize what you like and what you dislike, what you love and what you absolutely hate. Get very specific, the answers are important clues. For example, my client realized he loves helping people solve problems but hates feeling like he’s stuck doing meaningless tasks.
- What pain have you experienced? This one can be tough, as it prompts you to review past hurt that you may want to forget and move on from. But it’s important to look at the pain you experienced in the past, because oftentimes, your biggest struggles shape what you’re meant to do.
- How can you help others? At first, you may think: “I’m not an expert in anything.” But the truth is – you don’t have to be. If you can make someone’s life even a little bit better, you’re already on the right track. Think: What do people naturally come to you for advice on? What do you do that feels effortless?
Once you start digging into these questions, your dream won’t appear like magic – but you’ll start seeing patterns. Clues. And that will be enough to get you moving.
Your Dream Needs You to Upgrade Your Beliefs
Even once you’ll have an idea of what excites you, a bunch of negative thoughts will pop up. Because you were raised to believe many myths that now keep you from chasing your dream. And you may realize you hold onto some of these pretty tightly – like my client did:
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“I don’t have time.”
You may say this all the time. But the truth? You’re probably spending hours scrolling social media and overcommitting to things you don’t care about. Once my client admitted that, he started making small changes – setting aside even 10 minutes a day to explore his interests.
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“I’m trapped.”
Ever feel like your current situation is inescapable? My client did. But I challenged him: What if you just took one small step in a new direction? Nothing drastic – just a tiny experiment. My client started writing down ideas, talking to new people, and suddenly, he didn’t feel as stuck.
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“I don’t need it.”
My client told himself he was fine as he was. But deep down, he wasn’t. He had to admit that he wanted more for himself – and that wasn’t selfish. It was necessary.
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“I don’t know what I want.”
This one kept my client frozen for years. But tired of waiting for an epiphany, he decided to try things – he gave himself permission to be curious and messy. It turns out, clarity comes after action, not before it.
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“I don’t know how.”
No one does at first. That’s the point. Instead of seeing this as a dead end, you can start looking for resources, mentors, and people who have figured it out before you.
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“I’m worried what people will think.”
Yep, this one is brutal. But ask yourself: Who are you living for – you or them? When you think about your life five years from now, you’ll realize you’d regret not trying way more than you’d regret someone’s opinion of you.
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“I’ve tried before.”
And? Every successful person has failed. Probably a lot. So I reminded my client that past attempts weren’t proof he should quit – they were proof that he was learning.
Take the First Step Toward Your Dream
After working through all of this in depth with my client, he stopped waiting for permission. He gave himself the green light to explore. To dream. To try.
You could do the same.
And if you’re feeling stuck, I want you to know: You are not broken. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just take one small step. Answer one question. Challenge one belief. Reach out for professional support.
Your dream is waiting for you. The only question is: Are you ready to go find it?
Ways I can help you:
Worries Be Gone! – make worries disappear, one by one, with this powerful approach. Download the free guide here. Say NO with Confidence and Ease – get inspiration on how to politely and firmly decline requests that are not aligned with your values or priorities. Download the free guide here. Premium 1-1 Coaching – for mid career professionals who struggle with overwhelm, insecurities and a job they don’t love, but they want a confident, stress-free life. Email me “premium” and I’ll get you details.
