“How can I worry less?” you may ask.
This is a question my clients ask often, so let’s explore some practical solutions, shall we?
Worries are thoughts about the future.
You may realize consciously that everything in the future is improbable, still… you find yourself worrying from time to time:
- will I get the promotion or the salary raise?
- what if I won’t meet the expectations?
- how will I launch my new business?
- will they appreciate my work?
- will I have enough money?
- will I get there on time?
- will I pass the exam?
A little bit of worry is good, as it awakes your nervous system and activates you into taking action. But when you dwell too much on worries, the thoughts in your head tend to spiral to imagine the worst scenarios. You can get stuck in thinking these thoughts over and over, ruminating about what could go wrong. The worrying thoughts may lead to emotions like fear, anxiety, panic – and these will make you feel out of control.
You know that the future is improbable. Events may unfold the way you want them to, or they may not. Worrying about what will happen is not the best use of your time and energy – still, how do you keep worries in control?
I am using, for myself and with my clients, 2 very effective approaches to worry less – a habit and a tool. Here they are:
The habit: schedule worry time.
If you find yourself overthinking about a topic, plan worry time. Set aside a specific time segment to worry – I’d recommend 30 minutes or less. For the rest of the day, carry on with your regular activities and ignore the worries. If you catch yourself worrying outside of the allotted time, gently remind yourself that you can deal with the worries later. This attitude, if you turn it into a habit, gives your mind a framework – clear rules on what to focus on, and when.
The tool: put your worries in writing by using the worry journal.
The journal prompts you to: reflect on the situation, assess the probability of your worries becoming reality, as well as re-frame your thoughts to keep them in control. You can download a copy of the worry journal here.
If you tend to worry, use one or both of these approaches. There is no strict way to apply them- to worry less – it’s up to what serves you best in your specific situation.
Remember that worries are thoughts about an improbable future.
You always have the option to control your thoughts and live your life with joy and ease.
