One afternoon last year, I told my son I had a work trip coming up so I would be away from home for a few days.

He was 6 at the time and telling him upfront that I’d be gone, made the experience of traveling by myself, easier for the both of us.

He asked me:

‘Will you bring me a toy?’

Thinking he already had too many toys but not wanting to say no to him, I responded:

‘I’ll try’

My son raised his eyebrows in surprise and exclaimed, using a slightly preaching tone:

‘Mommy, that doesn’t work! When you go inside a shop, you either buy me a toy or you don’t’.

It was my turn to be surprised. And speechless.

 

I instantly remembered Yoda’s famous line from the Star Wars movie:

Do or Do Not. There Is No Try.

(Whether you’re a Star Wars movie fan or not, you may have already heard this famous quote from Yoda – the Jedi Master turned wellness guru due to his short and snappy lines that summarize deep life lessons.)

 

My son was so right to call me out on my answer.

 

I offered him a vague response that would have left room for an excuse, should I have failed to buy a toy. He presented the reality correctly: you either buy a toy or you don’t – it’s a decision that has to be made, there is no middle way. By trying, I set myself up for postponing the buying decision and by doing so, adding doubt and uncertainty into an otherwise straightforward topic.

 

At 6, my son instinctively knew that trying was not good enough.

It’s the same in many aspects of life.

Saying you’ll try sabotages action, leads to self-doubt and fosters procrastination.

Trying stops you from focusing on results and taking solution-oriented actions.

 

I decided, then and there, to resolve to always do or do not. Starting with the toy.

 

Guess what else did I do?

I removed the word try from my vocabulary.

By making this simple change, it became easier for me to make decisions and get more of what’s important for me, done.