Want to become confident and don’t know where to start?
Learn to accept praise.
Let’s start with the obvious:
How do you accept a compliment?
If your default response is to:
- blush
- stutter an excuse
- say it’s not your merit
- explain it’s an exception
- share details no one asked for
here is the harsh truth you need to hear:
you’re so used to playing yourself down
that you don’t even realize that others
know, like and accept your strengths.
Tough, I know – sorry!
Take a deep breath, count to 3, exhale…
and don’t take it personal.
Now let’s make sure you start owning who you are, what you do and be unapologetic about it. There is only one of you on this planet and there will never ever be another exactly like you. You are unique – about the time you embraced this truth.
When others tell you about your strengths, all you have to do is accept their words with grace. Let the positive remarks sink in. By doing this, you’re telling them: “Yes, you’re right, I am great!”
Here’s how you can accept a compliment in 3 simple steps:
1. Smile
2. Say “thank you”
3. Shut up
Smiling may be easy.
Saying “thank you” may be easy.
Stopping after “thank you” can be challenging.
You see, this is where you overcompensate right now. You are not familiar with accepting praise. You don’t feel comfortable with compliments so you’re looking for a way out.
You blurt out excuses, give explanations – anything that shifts the focus away from you. You learned to deal in this way with the uncomfortable feeling of being in the spotlight (for a moment!). The discomfort comes from your conditioning to be modest, to put others first, to not stand out.
Give yourself some grace and stay with the discomfort. If you shut up and smile, it will go away, little by little. And a bit of self-awareness will replace it at first. Then some self-esteem will follow. A warm feeling of confidence will show up as well.
Remember:
What you learned, you can un-learn.
You can make accepting compliments familiar.
Each time you practice, it will get better.
Smile, say “thank you”, shut up.
Let it be easy for you.
Let yourself shine.
Start right now.
